what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
then he tried to convert me to islam
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
