Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
What a dumb baby whore.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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