remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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