this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
