u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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