you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
