yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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