Im at strip club and am horny
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
