i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize