The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
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