what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
pray to the hookup gods
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
