Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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