Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
