I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
