Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
