I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
