she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
