hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
