No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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