why do cheetos always look like penises
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize