Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
wat bout pragnant strippers??
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
