But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
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