Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize