he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
