the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize