It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
