I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
