based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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