we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
