Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize