Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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