My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
