we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Randomize