Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
