i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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