I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
