is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
