Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
