Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
