we're blogging at a bar
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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