I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
