idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
