So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
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