His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
