guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
