this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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