I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
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