I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Randomize
