I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
