i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
