so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
