u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
