Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
