Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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