ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize