Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
