I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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