I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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