My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
