Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
