i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
